One year ago, I also thought I would be set on what I want to do by now, but that is further from the truth; I'm back at square one. I do not know what path to take. I have a love of learning, and once I'm immersed in a subject for a extended period of time, I tend to enjoy it more and more. This makes things just a bit difficult. While I enjoyed the challenges of being a nursing major, the blood, guts, and gore kinda freaked me out, (Ok, they really freaked me out). I still become faint and queasy when I hear someone talking about that stuff, but I loved my lecture class. Granted I did have one of the best anatomy professors at GCU, so it was more enjoyable than it could have been, but a funny thing happened throughout that semester. I found myself applying the knowledge I gained to every day situations. During that time my dad strained all three of his adductor muscles, the magnus, brevis, and longus.
Working with the cadavers was hard in the beginning, but as the weeks went by, I became more and more comfortable with them. I still find myself using the knowledge I gained in that class today. It just intrigues me that God made every living thing so complex, and each of the systems he put in to place, work together to sustain life; it's amazing.The reasons why I switched to being a business major then? I had my reasons. Like I said before, just hearing stories of accidents and sickness that people have had to endure, gives me this light-headed feeling. I become warm and start to lose vision, and that's not something patients want their nurse to do! The thought of being responsible for someone's death also frightened me. I know I could not live with that guilt, even if it was unnecessary. Because I was not that far into my schooling yet, I figured it would be a good time to switch.
The one business class I took this last semester I absolutely hated. While I still did well, the professor was boring and not helpful. I'm not sure if I actually enjoy business because a teacher can have so much influence on the students. If they love what they teach and have a passion for it, the students will more likely to follow in their footsteps. If I give it another semester, I could be even further behind in the classes I would need to take for a medical profession.
So, right now I am feeling like I might have made the wrong decision- a wasted semester, and frankly I'm not sure what to do. I have the whole semester to think and pray about things, but the thought is still lingering in the back of my mind that classes could not be available because the whole student body chose their upcoming class schedules in the beginning of the Spring 2015 semester.
Every day has been a challenge for me, but I can only take it one day at a time. I know that God is going to help me through this, but it can be difficult to trust Him some days. Worrying is a sin that I am 100% guilty of. In times like these I go back to one of my favorite verses. It is also my confirmation passage- Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to hurt you, plans to give you a hope and a future. I continue to pray that God will direct my life in the right path. It's going to be quite the journey, but with God by my side, I know its all going to work out and be for the best.
